We recently celebrated our youngest sons first birthday and while we had a blast, we did not throw him a traditional first birthday party. I know I am not the only mom who secretly hates throwing parties due to the insane level of anxiety the planning process involves, etc. YET somehow gets sucked into the modern day parenthood trap of throwing this huge, over the top first birthday party.
I can see your “judgy” eyes (some Real Housewives of Orange County humor), what kind of mother doesn’t throw her child a first birthday party?! Listen- I had every intention of throwing him a Pinterest perfect first birthday party like I did just two years prior for his big brother. Ultimately, I just decided to try something different this time.
Hosting parties gives me anxiety. The introvert in me just prefers an intimate gathering and less fuss. At the same time, I love celebrating and I am a sucker for pretty decor so that part of me jumps at the chance to showcase my creativity. I also LOVE photos and looking back at them for memories. For these reasons, I couldn’t wait to throw a first birthday party for our first son. I spent months planning the event and convinced myself everything I was doing was for my baby to have perfect memories of his first birthday.
The planning and agonizing over every detail drove me nuts. Deciding how many people to invite and what type of activities are appropriate for children of multiple ages was difficult. And let’s not mention how much money we spent! We were quickly over the initial budget I set since we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into after the food, decor, and entertainment. I quickly realized my one year old son could care less about any of this.
Let’s face it- we are throwing the first birthday party mostly for ourselves and the adults that are coming. A one year old baby is not going to remember the party or the amount of money it took to throw it. Frankly, a one year old is going to be crying, napping, or otherwise occupied during the entire thing while mommy runs around playing hostess to all the guests!
Don’t get me wrong- I am not saying there is anything wrong with throwing a first birthday party for your baby! I did it! I know us mamas want to celebrate making it through a year of parenting and all the fun party memories. I just think for us, opting out of a traditional first birthday party this time around just made more sense. I would rather stress myself out for parties my children actually request, want, and will remember.
That said, this time around I knew I wanted to do something on a smaller scale. Since I had the experience from hosting a big birthday party the first time around, my excitement to do all of that again was at a low. I had the theme and I was all ready to go full force planning our baby boys first birthday party until my husband asked me, “why are we doing all of this again?” My answer was, “well because we did it all for his brother. We have to do it for him too.” He brought up some valid points that I didn’t want to hear at the time but I finally saw truth in what he was saying. We decided not to feel pressured to go all out on a first birthday party.
You know the pressure I am talking about. Modern day moms all throw fabulous first birthday parties. Heck, we are expected to. All of the children around your kids ages are having big birthday parties and you feel the pressure to join in. You don’t want to be the only mom who doesn’t host a Pinterest worthy party. You don’t want your child to be left out. You don’t want to be mom-shamed. You convince yourself like I did that your child is missing out on something is you don’t go all out on a first birthday party.
we decided we would rather spend the money and time on something he would enjoy
we didn’t want to do it just because that is what we are “supposed” to do
better control over guest list and spending
less stress on this overthinking, control freak mama
a one year old simply does not seem to care at the end of the day about all the extra stuff
We gathered up our family and a couple of friends and headed out for a day at the zoo followed by lunch at Benihana! Our sons both love animals and enjoy the outdoors so it was the perfect place. The weather was beautiful and our baby boy had a great time! No fuss and something a one year old child will actually enjoy 🙂 We had smash cake (linked the recipe I used!) at home on his actual birthday and boy did he enjoy it! I only made one adjustment to the recipe using greek yogurt as icing to make it healthier. And I still incorporated in his lumberjack theme I wanted into the Evite, his birthday outfit, and coordinating our little family in flannel. I also included in the Evite for guests to wear flannels is they so decided.
Not hosting a big first birthday party is not the popular choice but it felt like the right choice . What we did instead was much more us which made it fun, intimate, and perfect for our baby boy.
Would you ever consider not having a first birthday party for your child?
