In less than 10 weeks, Lord willing we will add our third baby boy into the family. Wow- almost to the SINGLE digits when things get real and as the weeks wind down, the reality is finally setting in that I will have another newborn to love very soon. I will be a mother of 3. For starters, I have FINALLY started to purchase things for the baby and get things ready for his arrival! With each pregnancy, my urge to buy and do all the things right away gets less and less haha. It is funny how that happens right?
Saying that gives me anxiety lol. There was a time I thought I may not get to be a mom at all so to now have almost have 3 children is truly surreal. For those of you who don’t know, we miscarried our first child at 9 weeks. I went through a battle with uterine fibroids and thanks to God, I came out on the other side. I shared the full version of our journey a few years ago on my previous blog but maybe I will share it again here soon. Losing a child is the most heart wrenching experience and something you never really get over.
I remember after having our second son when people would ask us if we were going to have more, we would say we weren’t sure. Now when people ask us, we give them a firm NO lol. Three feels complete to us- I can’t imagine juggling anymore than that! Children are such a blessing but they are also ridiculously expensive and come with a lifetime of worry/sacrifices. I’ve been pregnant or nursing for the last 5 years so adding another 1-2 year nursing sentence plus the walking zombie phase is really setting in.
I think the boys are starting to get used to the idea that we will have a new baby at home soon. We pray for the baby every night by name and talk about him daily. Asher has done this big brother thing before so he knows what to expect but Declan I think is going to be in for a surprise. He loves his role as the baby very much to say the least! I am a little nervous about he will adjust but like always I am sure everything will work itself out.
How will I fit three car seats AND groceries etc. into my mid sized SUV? It’s sure going to be tight! I would like to upgrade next summer to the larger version of my current SUV but my hubby says it is way out of the budget and I need to get a minivan. Say what?!? I loathe minivans and swore I would NEVER drive one but the mama in me is slowly getting on board with the idea. With three boys, I know I will need the space and a minivan is the most practical/affordable way to transport everyone. I never would have thought I would even consider driving a minivan. I am just more of a sporty kind of girl. Anywho, within the next few years this mama will be a minivan mom like it or not unless we score a phenomenal deal on a large SUV. Ya’ll this is the ultimate sacrifice lol.
Will I EVER sleep again raising 3 African American boys in this crazy world? It’s something you really don’t want to think about but trust me I do. I know my father in heaven is always watching over them- I believe that will every fiber of me but I still worry a little.
How will we afford the grocery bill? Haha- seriously though. The two we have aren’t even 4 yet and they eat so much. I have flash forwards to three teenage boys and their friends eating all of our food after school. We like to eat a certain kind of way so it is a fact I will probably always spend more than necessary to feed my family.
What will I decide to do once this season of having small children is over? I imagine I will run a preschool (one of my goals) or put more energy into my real estate and Etsy businesses but I’m not 100% on what direction I want to go. I know I don’t want to go back to corporate America if I don’t have to and want to do something entrepreneurial. At the same time, I want to get back to earning a decent living lol. It has been a tough adjustment living off mainly just one income for the past 2 years. I have made a lot of sacrifices and some months have been really challenging but with God on our side we have made it through and will continue to do so.
Focusing on our children full-time was the right move for our family despite its challenges. This season has taught me a lot about myself. It has taught me how to trust and lean on my husband. I am a very strong-minded/independent girl so it is not always easy letting him lead. It has tested my faith. Before this season, I had faith but I always tried to control everything so it was never truly tested. During this season, I have SEEN the miracles of God time and time again. Lastly, it has taught me that money does not buy happiness. Before I started this mom and entrepreneurial journey, I made a really good living but I was not happy. Now, I am fulfilled and walking in my God given gifts and purpose in life and I can say I am happier than I have ever been.
Baby H- you may have been a surprise but I am so thankful God blessed us with you. This is the first pregnancy I can say I actually enjoyed being pregnant. I worried so much with the first two that I never really enjoyed the moment. I can’t wait to see your face and welcome you to this crazy bunch of boys. We have decided you will be our last so get ready to be spoiled 🙂
See you soon little guy.
I love you sooooo much, I just needed you to know that!!! Also I am sooooo very happy for you, how I wish there wasn’t this awful distance between us bc growing up this right here is what we dreamed of having in life, lol literally this was our daily life (playing house). Having a loving, full and blessed family was all that we both prayed for as young girls, so to see you living out our dream makes me heart smile! I love you cousin!!!! 💕
Aww what a sweet message! I have not and will not ever stop loving you. I am ALWAYS here.